So let’s get serious here. I’ve gone my whole life avoiding conflict, avoiding real challenge and really anything that might help me grow into a successful human being. I aim to please people, I always do what I’m asked and try to do no wrong. I live my life trying to avoid making anyone angry, just trying to get through the day without experiencing too much stress or hardship. Without realizing it, I’ve conditioned myself into believing that my actions are normal for an adult man. Curiously, his has also caused me to become what most would refer to as a nice guy, and this is not a good thing.
Nice guys, so I’ve been told, are the types of guys that claim to be nice, are always trying to please other people, and typically have little influence over their own lives or decisions. These are men that have resorted to taking a back seat in life, always letting other people make decisions for them and never speaking up for what they believe in. In many cases these men don’t know what they believe in. Interestingly, these men aren’t always nice either, as the name might suggest. These men think they are nice, while in reality they hold some of the deepest feelings of resentment and general anger towards women and relationships in general. When I think of nice guys, it’s almost like the scene from Scrubs when JD gets friend-zoned by Elliot and we see her room of friend-zoned guys. This is the embodiment of non-masculine men, ones that are just trying to please women and be seen in a good light. In reality, women want the chase. They want a man that knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go get it. A man who’s dependent on the opinions of women is just one insult away from losing all value in himself. It takes a man that’s confident, self-assured and determined to succeed that will draw the attention of the best quality women. Men that put too much emphasis on the approval of women will always be bogged down trying to please others instead of himself. In order to change this, one must be willing to put aside the feelings of others and make oneself the top priority. By focusing on what you want instead of what others want, you can challenge yourself to emphasize your own needs over the needs of others. By making yourself a priority, you give yourself authority over your actions and a chance to shut out the constant distractions of helping others. It’s okay to work on yourself, and it’s okay to say no to others. The important thing to remember is that I’m a human worth improving and investing in, and every action I take to help myself is an investment in everything that I am.
One thing I often struggle with is self confidence. Despite working pretty darn hard at just about everything I do, I know deep down I can work so much harder. I know I don’t need to smoke every morning, or during my lunch break. I know I can put in more effort at the office and at home to study. I know I can eat healthier if I put in the time and energy to buy and prepare healthy meals. I know I can wake up earlier and work out harder. I know I can discipline myself to have better dental health, to take better care of my skin and hair, and body maintenance in general. I know I can work harder to clean the condo, pay my bills and debts, and take care of my responsibilities like my cat or the condo. This is just barely scratching the surface, but essentially I’m calling myself out right here and right now as being insanely lazy. In my defense, I know I’m putting in effort, and in most cases it’s decent effort. But I know deep down I can do so much better. I feel like I’ve put a limiter on my effort output. It feels like I can only go to just around 50% before my body decides to say that’s enough. I need to go David Goggins on this bitch, surpass my limits like muthafuckin captain Yami and break my limiter like Saitama did. There’s a huge difference between what our body can do and what our mind thinks we can do. In almost all cases, we aren’t even close to the human limit we can achieve. The challenge, much easier said than done, is finding a way to break past this limit.
Going off of the advice these three characters, I can piece together a couple tips for how to achieve this. Saitama simply had enough of his average life and decided to keep working out every day. This consisted of 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats and 10 kilos of running every day. While honestly not crazy stressful on the body, over time his body simply stopped getting tired and refused to set limits when he decided to go further. I might be over simplifying this, but seriously he just doesn’t allow his mind to limit him. This causes him to push his body well past what the human limits are considered to be, and in turn makes him into an exceptional hero. It’s hard to visualize this one because it’s just so simply put yet complex to understand, and it doesn’t really translate well into reality. Nonetheless, Saitama can at at least give us a base of what this looks like put into practice. On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have David Goggins. He’s a true tale of what it takes to pull yourself up from your bootstraps to be something great. This man had nothing going for him, but decided he would start to make himself strong. He kept pushing, and kept trying harder challenges when he accomplished the easier ones. He rewired his mind to stop blaming, stop making excuses and start doing. Again it’s crazy simple, but David Goggins calls it out like he sees it and hits directly where it hurts. It’s all on you. Literally, all on you and you alone. Or I should say me but you know what I mean. It comes down to how hard are you willing to work for the goals you want to achieve. David refuses to let anyone outwork him, let anyone be doing more than him and wants to always be top dog. Not because he wants to show everyone how strong he is, but because he has that drive to be the best. Not just good or great, but the best there is. That mentality is difficult to come by anymore, especially on your own. But David found it by having a goal and letting nothing stop it. Hardening his brain to the point where his mind is just another muscle to flex and control at his whim. This meant breaking his limiter to do what most would consider superhuman feats of endurance and strength. This one hits close to home because it’s something anyone can relate to, and while tough as nails, David has a tried and true mentality that’s both bewildering and infectious. You can’t help but stare in awe watching someone work that hard, and it makes you think why you aren’t doing the same.
Before moving on, I want to quickly document my favorite Goggins story with my best paraphrasing. It goes that one day you realize you’ve just died and gone to heaven. On arrival you meet God, who comes to greet you and says ‘Oh Matt, the world-renowned doctor, politician, influencer and motivational speaker, it’s so good to finally meet you” and you can only reply like what, what are you talking about? I was only an insurance agent and an occasional wedding minister. And God says something along the lines of “Oh I’m sorry, that’s what you were supposed to be. You didn’t quite meet your potential I guess”. I’ve definitely butchered the quote, but the point is that there’s a potential timeline out there where I’m living my best life, making all the right decisions and living my life to the fullest. I was born with so much talent, was given so many blessings in order to be successful, and have a setup in life where I can truly accomplish anything I want if I put my mind to it. Instead I’m choosing to squander that potential and lose all the great things I could have been. David says there’s still hope, and I believe that with hard work and dedication he might just be on to something.
Finally, Captain Yami. Black Clover is just a fantastic story in all rights, but then we have this super-chad, insanely powerful badass Captain for our young protagonist to study under. This man is cool to the bone and has one of the most unique powers in the Black Clover universe. But without getting too deep into the story, Captain Yami is considered one of the strongest in the world due to his unique skills and ability to continuously grow stronger. He’s glorified the phrase “Surpass your limits, right here, right now”, which to me completely encompasses everything that these guys are talking about when getting stronger. You simply get put on the spot to do something above your abilities, and have to dig down in the heat of the moment to break your limiter. If you believe in your abilities and trust that you can do things greater than you ever imagined, it’s quite possible you’ll do it. Captain Yami uses this to motivate his crew, and seems to live by it himself as well. I think I like this concept of breaking the limiter the best of the three, simply because Yami is so straightforward with his message. In any random moment, are you prepared to push yourself to your limits and beyond for the people you love or the things you believe in? I think for me it’s just the sudden and immediate proposition to man up. I’m often much stronger than I think I’m capable of, and moments like this help prove it. I’m all about baptism by fire, and I think Yami has it exactly right. Man up, own up to what you are and become greater than you’ve ever imagined. Right here, right now. Lets get it done.