Lately I’ve found myself over-indulging in my guilty pleasure of cheesy coming-of-age stories. It’s possibly a remnant of my mild obsession in them from my high school days, but more likely because I’ve grown a mighty fierce appreciation for the struggles of the young adult life through my own years of growth. It’s a time period where many young folk still haven’t found themselves or their purpose in this world, yet are embarking on a life-defining journey through college or beyond. It’s a highly tumultuous period of learning coupled with hardship that typically results in a surprisingly entertaining yet heartfelt story that’s almost always relatable in some way to the reader. So when I found a brief summary of Solanin, I thought to myself that I’d found another perfect fit to scratch my itch for young people drama. Boy was I in for a ride.
As a preface, Solanin is a manga written by one of my favorite manga authors, Inio Asano, who happened to also pen one of my favorites of all time, Goodnight PunPun. This was made just before he started PunPun, and while there are many similarities in the art style, it doesn’t capture nearly as many of the dark elements that PunPun is able to convey. Instead, Solanin focuses its relatively short 29 chapter story on two young adults residing in Tokyo, Japan, trying to make the best of their post-graduate life living together in the busy city.
The story opens with our first main character, Inoue Meiko, struggling in her day to day life and growing disdain for her job. She absolutely despises work and everything that has to do with it. She hates people, she doesn’t like the demands of the job, and simply wants to have freedom again. She mentions there’s a demon lurking in Tokyo, which is unusual considering we’ve only just met her. For now, everything seems pretty normal. Yet it’s clear that she’s troubled with the prospect of her future. Instead she just wants to be with her boyfriend, Taneda Shigeo.
Taneda, our second main player in this story, is the same age as Meiko and plays in a band with his two friends, Billy and Katou. He also has a job working as a part time illustrator, but he’s not fulfilled with the work. Instead, he’s content holding his pipe dream of being a rockstar casually at bay while he lazily coasts through his life of just barely getting by. He’s been peacefully living together with Meiko for a year, and despite their personal issues things seem to be going smoothly. That is, until Meiko decides to quit her job.
After work, Meiko comes home to find her boyfriend sleeping on the couch. She aggressively wakes him up to tell him about her plans to quit. In a surprisingly eloquent half-asleep stupor he comforts her thoroughly, offering to love and support her no matter what happens. She takes this response as his stamp of approval and decides to proceed with her plan. The next morning, Meiko wakes up to find Taneda already gone for work. She meanders out to their apartment balcony to find a single balloon tied the the railing. With no hesitation, she unties the balloon and releases it into the morning sky, brandishing a look of pure bewilderment on her youthful face as she watches it sail away into the beautifully drawn Tokyo city skyline. To me, this clearly illustrates a metaphor for Meiko’s desires, conveying the sense of freedom she’s so desperately seeking. She dreamily stares off as the balloon soars away into the clouds, seemingly wishing she could do the same.
Later, Taneda comes home to realize what he’s just agreed to. He’s not as accepting this time around and immediately questions the rationale behind her decision to quit. Meiko defends her choice, saying she has some savings and will use the time to do productive things, but she also admits she doesn’t actually have any real plans. They both go through the day acting normally, and after spending time with the band they return home. Upon returning, the thought of Meiko quitting is so viscerally painful to Taneda that he vomits out of sheer panic. He’s incredibly worried about Meiko, but he can’t change her decision now. They both vow to stay productive, but slowly we see Meiko stray further and further from this vow.
As time carries on, piece by piece we see Meiko become lazier and less focused in her pursuit of a passion despite all of her newfound free time. She starts to smoke cigarettes again, spends most of her days playing video games or just sitting around, and on once particular occasion she spent a whole morning searching for a replacement air conditioner when her unit broke, only to realize she can’t afford a new one anyways. She then spends the rest of the morning shopping for cheap shoes, then later mooches a free lunch out of her friend, Ai. Upon returning home, Taneda had already fixed the allegedly broken AC with minimal effort and scolds her for not taking better care of their things. We see that instead of doing anything to benefit herself or set up her own future, she seems to think her role is now to support Taneda’s pursuit of his own dreams. In particular, she’s laser-focused on turning his dream of being a professional musician into a reality. Although, as we learn more about our main characters, we start to question whether or not being a rockstar is his passion at all.
Taneda is a caring guy, to say the least. He’s undoubtedly dedicated to supporting Meiko through helping them live a good life together, and in general he’s a healthy, happy guy with a good family, supportive friends and hobbies outside of his career. It’s clear he loves Meiko, and throughout the manga we see the effect Meiko has on him. She’s able to help him pursue his dreams and only wants the best for him, which often leads to her orchestrating many of his choices in life. But this also put stress on Taneda, who just like Meiko, is a young adult that’s still trying to find his way in the world. He doesn’t like his job either, and when Meiko quits hers, he has no choice but to carry on the burden so they can afford to live. This continues on when Meiko pressures him to get serious with the band. Taneda is now conflicted. Playing music was once his dream and his passion, but at the same time up to this point it’s only ever been a hobby for him. He hasn’t ever taken playing music seriously. Now he’s forced to push past this mental boundary for the first time to see if he can make this hobby work as a potential career. This could be an incredible tale of someone overcoming the odds to make their dreams come true, but this manga doesn’t conform to that idea.
Instead, Taneda starts to feel the pressure of his dilemma. He’s working his ass off at a job he hates. He comes home to a girlfriend that has no job, no money, and rarely contributes to household upkeep. And now he’s being pressured by this same non-working girlfriend to try harder at his hobby to make it a career. To his credit, Taneda takes this challenge head on and is resolved to make the band a success, but quickly realizes this amount of work is too much for him. He decides to quit his day job so he can focus on making a demo CD to send out to as many record companies as possible. And after several weeks of intense hard work and many late nights of practice, Taneda and his friends complete the CD and send it out with high hopes of it finding someone that likes their music. For a brief second, we see both main characters as about as happy as they can be here. Life to them at this moment is full of hope and opportunity, with limitless possibilities for what might happen for them next and friends close by to help support their every move.
A few weeks go by with no luck and the band starts to lose hope, but finally they get their first opportunity. They’re called into a record studio’s headquarters to meet with a company executive, who has an offer prepared for the band. Of course, the offer is not at all what they were expecting. Instead of the band being able perform as they currently are, the exec wants them to function as a backup band for their new summer pop idol girl. Granted, it’s an incredibly easy sounding gig and would be a huge opportunity for them, but it’s not the dream gig Taneda was searching for. Unexpectedly and without any consultation, Meiko declines the offer on the band’s behalf. Then, within seconds the exec turns and leaves the room, marking the end of their meeting. Taneda is left dumbfounded, awestruck by the actions playing out in front of him. Nothing that happened that day was going his way. When finally given one chance to actually get something, anything from his hard work, it’s ripped right from his jaws.
Taneda composes himself and leaves to go to the restroom, where he finds the executive. Taneda is critical of the man, who he had previously recognized as a member of a longtime favorite band that inspired him to make music, but no longer played for them. The man admits he was once passionate for music, but his time in the corporate grind had seemingly caused him to lose his way after being a yes man for his superiors. The man then explains that Taneda will understand one day when he finds something he truly cares about. It’s a short conversation, but this line sticks out. We’ll see why soon enough.
To Taneda, this day was his last day of living his dream. All of his eggs were in this basket. When the opportunity was stolen from him, he understood that was his last chance. At this point Taneda is left scrambling to make his next move. Does he keep waiting for the slim chance to get another gig as a band? Do they go back to the record studio to beg for the gig again? Does he go back to his job that he hates? Or does he go home to live with his parents and leave Meiko behind? All of this sounds much worse than his original dream, and it’s too much for him to handle. Now he has a sour taste in his mouth knowing his chance was right there but he just wasn’t able to grab it. All thanks to Meiko.
From there things seemingly fall apart for Taneda. He’s completely lost without this dream being available, and with no other opportunities arriving for the band he’s left with the bleak options to either go home to his parents or go back to his old job. He takes his frustrations out while on a row boat ride with Meiko, who has finally pushed his buttons to the breaking point. He reveals his intentions to break up with her. He tells Meiko he’s had enough of being dragged around by someone who can’t even help herself. He defeatedly mutters that he doesn’t believe he can support the both of them in his current condition.
With this fear finally brought to her attention, Meiko tearily lashes back. “How could you lie to me like this?” She screams. “You said you would always be there.” As she yells this, Taneda’s glasses slip from his face and begin to careen towards the water. She immediately lunges at them, successfully able to grab them before they submerge, but unfortunately at her own expense. She crashes into the water glasses in hand, only to be rescued a few moments later. Now soaked, the two decide to head home. Taneda finally admits he agrees with Meiko, apologizing, as they dock and walk home.
They return home to shower and relax. Although a few hours had passed, tensions were still high. Neither have a good plan, but both know something has to change. It seems, however, Taneda is the first to make up his mind. He kisses his girlfriend and leaves to go on a walk. For the next five days we hear absolutely nothing from Taneda, and with the recent circumstances we’re led to assume the worst. Meiko is distraught at this prospect and hides away in her room. Finally, five excruciatingly long and painful days later, we hear from Taneda again.
We learn he’s just now leaving from his illustration job. He begged his former boss for his old job back and was thankfully given full time status now, but consequently that meant he had to work for five days straight. Just now able to leave, he explains to Meiko that after everything he still loves her and that he will be home soon. He’s resolved to make this work. To Meiko, all of her prayers have now been answered. She just wanted to get back to her regular life with her loving boyfriend so she can keep figuring her own life out. Everything is finally working out. Tragically, that moment never arrives.
After the phone call, we see Taneda riding his scooter home, enjoying the view and the new sense of purpose he had seemingly found these past few days. His life is back together, he had made a plan, and his girl was still there for him. Life is good. Well, at least for a moment. Like a switch just flipped, he suddenly starts to doubt himself again. He’s not ready for this life yet, but he can’t go back now. In an unexpected yet beautifully innocent moment of pure adolescent angst and rage, he releases a torrent of tears and roars out in agony. Tragically, as a result of this emotional outpouring, he subconsciously pulls the handle of his accelerator and disappears into a busy traffic intersection. His helmet launches into the air. We then find him lying on the pavement, blood pooling from his head. Taneda never made it home that day, and never will again.
Part 2
It’s at this moment that we’ve officially reached both the HALFWAY point of this manga and the official turning point in the story. It’s only going to get better from here, I promise. I have to admit the conclusion to this first arc left me feeling particularly heartbroken for Meiko and Taneda, even on the second and third read. It’s difficult to not relate to these characters, even in the smallest way, and feel like you’re involved in what they’re going through. We’ve finally seen the culmination of all the pressure Taneda’s been under coming loose and unraveling at one of the worst possible times in the young couple’s life. He was on the brink of changing his life to potentially settle down with Meiko, whom he had seemingly accepted to be his purpose and passion instead of his music. He’d accepted his job as a way of life so he could keep enjoying his time with Meiko and his friends, but he never got to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Instead, he now leaves Meiko all alone to find her own way without his help.
Over the next few chapters we’re given glimpses into the couples’ past, revealing some of their earlier years as a pair. We learn that Meiko once had dreams and goals of her own, nothing specific of course, but then willingly took a step back on those dreams so she could support Taneda’s vision to be in a band. Yet, through the years of them dating, his dream slowly faded as time continued to pass without him taking a more serious attitude. He was willing to casually coast through adulthood with music being only a hobby and had accepted just getting by. Meanwhile, Meiko was desperately waiting for him to take that leap of faith with music while she coasted onward with a job she was slowly starting to hate. This eventually became a heavy burden to her, which lead to her finally quitting and starting the story we picked up with in chapter 1.
Life continues onward, like it or not. Meiko is forced to come to terms with Taneda’s death, one painful day at a time. At first she’s very critical of herself and blames herself for the tragedy, especially knowing the pressure she put on him along with the still very fresh argument that led to him going back to work. It’s of course in her right to grieve for as long as she needs and she takes advantage of that, but it comes at the expense of her personal hygiene. Noticing this, her friends start to stop by to help take care of her. After a couple months go by living like this, Taneda’s father comes by to pick up some of his son’s items in the apartment.
He arrives bearing fresh fish as a gift, so the two decide to cook it for lunch and sit to eat while they talk. Meiko sheepishly apologizes to the father, still feeling guilty for her perceived role in his son’s death. He stops her, instantly and thoroughly dismissing this. Instead, he wisely recalls to Meiko that Taneda had called home a few days before this all happened to say he’s coming home. But then, just a day later, he called again and said he’s staying in Tokyo. He said he had found something important to look after. Remember the line from the executive earlier? The father then suggests that the something Taneda thought was that important was Meiko. He further suggests that if she still feels guilty, then it might be her job to prove to the world that he ever existed. The old man then turns to leave, neglecting to take any of the items he’d traveled to collect. Meiko then looks over to the guitar gathering dust in her room, and an idea crosses her mind. What if she were to pick up where Taneda left off?
To me, this is where the beauty of this manga truly shines through. Through her grief, Meiko vows to pay tribute to Taneda’s memory by keeping the band alive, even if it means she’ll have to learn to play guitar from scratch. With the help of the other band members, she’s able to give this dream one last shot.
As a quick aside, I haven’t mentioned much about our side characters yet, solely in an effort to help keep this analysis slightly shorter, but I do feel there’s one instance in particular I should highlight. Before Meiko decides to pick up the guitar, their friends Katou (guy) and Ai (girlfriend) are off on their own, discussing the inevitability of them having to get jobs and the life they’re now accustomed to after Taneda’s death. Katou says ‘When you lose something, you gotta find something to take its place.” which is in reference to his new job, but also aligns beautifully with Meiko’s new plans in life. Ai silently radiates with her love for Katou, but then quickly turns face and asks aloud why he couldn’t keep the band going on his own. “Can’t you do anything without Taneda?” she screams at him. Realizing her rudeness she quickly apologizes, clearly still struggling with the loss. She then offers this food for thought “Are we going to slowly lose pieces of ourselves, spinning around and around in our own circles?”
There’s so much going on here. Katou’s struggles with his own dreams in the wake of Taneda’s death, the sneaky comparison of Taneda and Katou as antagonists, and Ai’s potential bipolar disorder. But to me, this quote at the end is what really hits home. It expresses the feelings of freedom lost and renewed hardship that accompanies growing up, especially from the characters’ point of view. Ai is expressing the hopelessness she feels in keeping her identity through the constant worry and struggle that is ceaselessly pulling at her. It’s not easy to remain whole in a world that’s constantly tossing her around from one worry to another, and I think this statement shows she’s starting to understand the challenge Meiko is now approaching in trying to rebuild herself after this tragic loss.
The journey Meiko embarks on next is truly a testament to her love for Taneda as well as her own resolve. On her first training day as a guitarist, Meiko decides to rent out a studio for the band to practice in. Although she’s incredibly green, she has a natural talent and aura that is nearly identical to Taneda’s, which the guys quickly notice. They’re immediately impressed by her energy and dedication to this project, regardless of her still shaky skills. She vows to keep practicing and getting better as long as they’ll keep playing with her.
Later on, during a solo practice session at home, Meiko gets chilly and retreats to her closet to grab a space heater. While searching she also stumbles upon Taneda’s old diary that she had forgotten about. Amazed at her new treasure, she rips it open and starts to read. At first it’s fairly normal, just regular old daily reminders. But as she gets further in she finds something interesting, written on the same day he asked to break up with her. Under the date, he wrote “I think i found the answer. I can handle tomorrow.” This is then followed by song lyrics, making up the words for his final song, Solanin.
Aptly named, this song embodies the true spirit of this manga. I won’t copy the song here; you can find lyrics online if you’re curious. In short, the song carries a somber yet passionate message of letting go of someone loved. At first it’s hard to not see it as a breakup song, at least in the eyes of Meiko with the timing and tone of the song. But as we learn more about the couple’s past and Taneda, it starts to look more like a song about growing up. In his own way, he had written this song to say goodbye to his prior passions, to the dreams he once had, and to the life he thought he wanted. In that message, he had resolved to say goodbye to his prior conceptions of life and was ready to take on the responsibility of adult life. I think this might explain what happened to Taneda on that day.
In my opinion, Taneda had already made up his mind prior to getting his job back. During those five days he was out working, grinding away at making his new life. Yet, when he was finally able to return home, he’s once again faced with the reality that his life is not the same as it was and never will be again. In that moment, he’s lamenting his new adult life and in one final cry he lets go of all the anger he’s been holding on to. I don’t necessarily think this act was intentional, but I do believe that even until the very end he simply could not make up his mind about his future. His indecision and inability to take control of his life ultimately led to his demise.
On the other side of things, Meiko is certainly not without blame in this case. Yes, Taneda was indecisive and unable to take his life into his own hands, but Meiko fed into that vice and even did the same herself. She forced extra pressure on him when she quit, and even more so when she pushed for him to get the band going. All this extra pressure is undoubtedly going to cause stress and feed his indecisive tendencies. While she’s not at fault for this alone, she’s not helping in any way either. When Taneda reveals he quit his job to pursue music, Meiko never even considers getting a job to help support the household. She never offers to shoulder some of the responsibility that Taneda is now taking on. It seems most of their issues could have been easily handled with a very standard adult conversation about each others responsibilities and what they expect from each other. If they had worked together during this process, Meiko could have gotten a part time job while he was hard at work getting his band going, or Meiko could have supported and encouraged him to not quit his illustration job until the band takes off. It seems they both made selfish decisions in order to pursue their own fantasies without properly consulting each other, which consequently acted as the catalyst for their eventual downfall.
As much as I would love to continue analyzing how each detail of this relationship went wrong, that’s not the purpose of this analysis nor the purpose of this manga. This is a story of young adults still trying to find their way in life, who have not yet been hardened by the constant ebb and flow of life’s struggles. As far as we know they are each other’s first love, they are embarking on their first careers after college and are still figuring out adult life outside of schooling. Nothing in this time of life is simple. Yet through their story we can start to piece together the true essence of what it means to find yourself through these difficult years. Meiko is a perfect example of this.
As Meiko continues to improve her guitar and singing skills with the band, they’re gifted an opportunity to open at a local gig for another band as part of a favor from one of Katou’s friends. It’s a short set that maybe allows for three songs, and it’s coming up in a month’s time. The guys are hesitant to do it in such short time knowing Meiko’s skill level, but Meiko is locked in. She’s ready to give it all she has, and admits to her friends she wants to sing Solanin. She surprises herself with her confidence, but then doubles down knowing how excited and energized this chance has her feeling. This is her moment to prove to the world Taneda existed, and she will not let this chance slip by.
To help her gain confidence and skill more quickly, Meiko enrolls in guitar lessons. It’s here that we meet Yuki, a young guitarist who shares passions similar to Taneda’s. While Yuki clearly has a crush on Meiko, she brushes this off given her recent circumstances. Yet before being turned down, Yuki teaches Meiko the secret to his skill – a true passion and love for playing music. He explains that together, with similarly minded people and a positive mindset, even zero’s can become infinities. Basically saying losers can become great. Meiko takes his words to heart, understanding that the only way to truly honor Taneda’s memory is to play with the same passion and love that he did.
As the lesson is ending, Yuki suggests that she play in front of people at the park to gain confidence playing to a live audience. Meiko takes this advice and heads out for Shinjoku (I guess this is a park area in Japan?) by train. On her way, she reflects on how life has changed for her since coming to the city. She feels powerless, knowing that she’s barely surviving in this intimidating city. Still, she presses on knowing her goal for the day; to play a song for someone random at the park. She finally arrives, but quickly realizes she has no idea what she’s doing.
As if on cue, a young boy walks up to her and they have a cute exchange wondering if the other is lost. After a quick back and forth the boy asks if she’ll play him a song, and she decides to give it a shot. Moments later, Ai shows up and compliments Meiko on how good it sounds. She turns to ask if the boy likes the song too, but there’s no one there. Ai says she never saw him. Meiko shrugs this off and keeps playing, now more confident in her abilities going into this show.
I find myself stuck thinking about this little boy for some reason, even though he’s barely in this chapter and is very likely just some story fluff. Yet, it seems so odd to me that a boy would randomly just appear then disappear like that, although not impossible knowing how froggy some kids are. I just don’t think that’s what’s going on here.
Instead, it feels more to me that this child is an embodiment of the child she and Taneda could have had in an alternate life. Hear me out. In this moment Meiko is unifying her dream with Taneda’s dream, and through her desperate attempts to prepare for this show, she’s now radiating her love for Taneda and his memory. I think it makes sense symbolically to have this one last trial before the show, where her love for Taneda has ultimately led her, to embody the complete unity of these two spirits as she’s now fully accepted the passion of her former lover. I’ll admit it’s sort of a stretch, but I think at this point Meiko is closer to Taneda than she ever has been, at least in understanding his passion for music. This moment could very easily be the moment their spirits and dreams finally unite, which has now materialized for Meiko in the form of a child with Taneda she’ll never have. The timing is perfect, with him arriving the moment she’s beginning to doubt herself and offering her an audience that’s much less intimidating than a random adult. There’s not much evidence to work off of, but that’s my theory. Let me know what you think.
Final Arc
It’s now the night before the concert. Billy is out pondering Kurt Cobain’s early demise seemingly as a comparison to Taneda while staring at the moon. We then cut to the moon, where two bunnies with an X for a face are playing on a swing set and talking about the complexities of life. Yeah, that all happens.
These bunnies appear randomly throughout the manga, and at first I thought they were a metaphor for the characters’ anxiety or their combined feelings of doubt in their relationship. But then later in the manga we see that Taneda won some bunnies like this as a keychain prize from a toy machine on their first date. In theory, their appearances could a reference to that date in some way, or maybe they’re just some placeholder characters. It’s never really explained, and they don’t seem to really add much to the story. Maybe they’re not supposed to mean anything. I have no idea. I will admit they’re surprisingly cute though. Moving on.
There are some compelling quotes said between the bunnies on the moon, but one that stuck with me is “Nobody is actually afraid of dying, since that moment is fleeting and only lasts a moment. Instead, their worst fear is seeing their loved one crying from across the galaxy.” All of this is said while we see one of the bunnies flung into the dark abyss of space while the other is crying helplessly from the surface of the moon. In a way this summarizes the struggles our young couple has experienced over the course of this story. The moment of death was of course terrible, but it pales in comparison next to the pain of seeing someone you love struggle on endlessly with no way to help them. I’m sure this is how Taneda would feel watching Meiko now, and his only hope would be that she’s able to recover and continue living her life.
We return to Billy waking Meiko up before heading out to band practice. They leave to go on a moonlit evening walk, where Billy asks if she’s okay without Taneda. She replies no, but she knows she has to move on eventually. Billy then reveals how much Taneda’s loss hurt him too, getting angry at the idea of Taneda even considering dying before unleashing a river of tears in a rare moment of weakness. He then says this is his last night crying over it, and Meiko seems to agree as they share one last good cry together for their friend. I don’t think there is much more to take from this chapter other than two friends consoling each other and using their combined grief to move forward despite the residual pain. On their own it’s a seemingly impossible path forward, but together it becomes much more manageable.
The night of the show finally arrives. The group is now preparing for the show, each handling their anticipation and nervousness in unique ways. Meiko is all nerves and has secluded herself to the bathroom stall, but Billy finds her and helps her calm down. Billy reminisces about how he used to make fun of old guys like himself when he first started, and now he’s the old guy still playing. In spite of this, he realizes he’s happy where he is in life. We then run into Saeki again, the exec from the record company, who is now a talent scout for his old agency. He’s taken a lower paying role but he doesn’t really care; he’s found something he truly cares about (This quote strikes again!). He mentions he had hoped to catch up with Taneda, suggesting he’d like to thank him for showing him his flawed views back on that fated day. It seems back on that day Taneda had unknowingly inspired him to rethink the purpose of his career. Instead of chasing money and fame while climbing the corporate ladder, he’s decided to chase people making the music he loves, even if it makes him less successful. Saeki leaves promptly and the band is called on to the stage. Meiko cautiously steps up the mic, with her band in tow, as she welcomes the crowd.
The lights come down on Meiko. All eyes are suddenly on her. In one last moment of preshow angst, she recalls a memory of Taneda standing in the same spot she’s in now. Like a warm blanket this reassures Meiko, remembering the feeling of comfort she used to get from watching him play. She snaps out of it and looks at the guys, who indicate they’re ready to jam and let her shine.
Before we see any action we cut to our young guitarist friend Yuki, who is rushing on his way over to the show. He’s just barely made it through the doors in time, so he darts through the crowd to see what’s going on inside. Upon entering, he’s immediately caught off guard to see Meiko absolutely belting it, singing her lungs out while performing her tribute song, Solanin. We catch a gorgeous still shot of Meiko on stage in the middle of singing a note, deeply entranced in the song and fully absorbed in her craft. I think this moment truly encapsulates the change that’s occurred within Meiko over the past several chapters. She’s gone from someone hopelessly lost to someone that can channel the passion of Taneda through music, and through this process has grown immensely. She now understands her role in society. She’s ready to get back to work. She’s finally ready to start living again.
As the songs play out, Meiko continues to contemplate her life. Why has it been so hard for her to get a job this whole time? She reassures herself that it’s okay to take some time off, but also realizes it’s about time to get back to work. It’s seemingly taken her overcoming this single obstacle that Taneda left in his wake for her to finally come to terms with the reality of living in a busy city. She resolves to get her old job back after this, and it seems Meiko has finally found the peace she’s been looking for. The final notes of the song echo through the venue as the performance comes to a close. Meiko and the guys raise their hands together in victory as they leave to go drink.
At the bar, Meiko comments that she couldn’t hear any of the performance. Her heart was racing, her voice cracked, and the whole thing probably sounded awful; but she knows she nailed Solanin. To her, that’s all that matters. Within minutes Meiko then falls asleep at the table, exhausted from the day’s events. Katou comments on how angelic she looks sleeping like she is.
While it’s not outright stated, it can be construed to see this as Meiko finally coming to defeat the demon she’s been fighting since the first chapter. We never actually see a demon portrayed, so in this case we can likely assume that the demon is more of a mental one than a physical demon. Since Meiko is the only one to mention it, we can also assume it’s hers. Maybe the demon to her is her inability to accept her role in society, or her unwillingness to have a job, or maybe even just a characterization of her youthful arrogance overriding her responsibility as an adult. In any case, it’s taken this full journey up to the moment the gets on stage to finally conquer that demon and live on in peace. It seems that once she came to terms with her adult life, that demon and all troubles she had with them vanished. Meiko doesn’t have to aimlessly wander anymore. She’s found her purpose and banished the demon.
In another flashback, we see how the group initially meets. Meiko first meets Billy and Katou, who are trying way too hard to pick up new students for the music club. Meiko reveals she’s actually studying international linguistics, but enjoys music. Knowing they have an opening here, they introduce her to Taneda as the small group mentions they are thinking of starting a band. Meiko says that she’d like to sing for them, and the guys agree to play for her, thinking to themselves that she’s incredibly cute. Meiko is noticeably nervous but Taneda calmly encourages her onward. She thinks for a moment, holding the microphone closely in deep thought, then asks Taneda to sing instead. Meiko is too shy and would rather have the confident seeming Taneda take over. As if destined to happen, the group realizes Taneda is pretty good at this.
After this first meeting, Meiko just can’t stop thinking about Taneda. She goes out to hang with the crew again and is luckily able to secure 1 on 1 time with Taneda as they go for a walk. They first stop at a cutesy toy vending machine to check out the cheap prizes, and win two of the X-face bunnies in the form of keychains. They’re a pretty cute trinket too, so i can understand why they keep returning to the story. Shortly after, Taneda describes to Meiko why he got into music in the first place, referencing a band he used to absolutely worship. It was because of them that he learned to play guitar, and since then he’s fallen in love with the feeling of playing. He’s content to keep following that feeling as long as he can.
Jokingly, he then suggests that in a few short years he’ll be another one of those men on the train looking dead in the eyes on their way to their corporate job. He then laughs at his prospect. Meiko, now feeling sheepish, comments that she’s never really cared for anything like how he cares about music, and this worries her. She admits to Taneda she wants to leave the band circle, and subsequently asks Taneda if she will be able to keep up with her current lifestyle in the city. Taneda, without hesitation, says that together he thinks they can manage. Surprised by this, Meiko just says “Don’t… Don’t let go.”
It seems we’ve finally found the moment these two first decided to start dating, and consequently uncovered the conversation and meeting that determined their roles in the band as well as some basis for their attitudes as they progress through the story. Meiko is clearly a bit lost in her life, and even before Taneda she’s never had much purpose. Instead, she’s latched on to Taneda’s dream and is content sharing that passion with him. In many ways this echoes the conversation from the first chapter, when Meiko decided to quit her job. Taneda had vowed to support her and take care of her no matter what, and in less words he’s essentially done the same here. Meiko is drawn to the comfort and shielding provided by someone who already has his dream laid out, and hopes to just coast along on those coattails. It seems Meiko is worried of being lied to or over-promised, but she quickly realizes Taneda is serious in his gesture. She’s willing and ready to latch on to this man and let him lead the way, as long as he can help guide her in the right direction.
In the penultimate chapter, we open to see Billy giddily dancing through the streets, showing off his brand new bike before Katou unwittingly knocks it over. Life is moving on in great ways for the gang. Meiko and Ai are off chatting, discussing how Katou loves her and had stayed in Tokyo to be with her. Ai then mentions that the old record exec, Saeki, is still asking about her and the band. Apparently he liked what he heard and wants to hear more, but Meiko is content with her life as it is. We learn 6 months has passed since the live gig and Meiko is now in the process of moving out of her old apartment. Her friends are all busier than ever, but are still the same goofy group. The band still practices every now and then, but the dreams of making it big are long gone. Meiko now even has a job of her own, one she hasn’t quit yet. Billy asks if she’ll just quit again when it starts to suck. Meiko smirks and simply says she’ll make it work out.
As she wraps up the packing process at her old apartment, the last item to go is Taneda’s electric guitar. She looks down at it for a moment, respecting its presence, and suddenly drops to her knees. She then lovingly wraps her arms around the instrument, giving it a long, warm hug. She’s found Taneda in the guitar, and leaving the apartment they shared feels like she’s leaving him behind in a way. The hug is her way of reassuring herself that her memory of him will be okay. He will not be forgotten.
As Meiko leaves this apartment for the last time, she turns to lock the door, subtly revealing a little X-face bunny keychain hanging from her key ring. She locks up and thanks her friends for helping her move. We then cut to the Tokyo city background, with Meiko wishing the scenery would never end. She then thinks that even if she ever did stop enjoying the scenery, her friends being around would make it okay. We cut away again to hear the group talking about booking a new show, and the end credits appear.
Among all the new revelations here, the one that stands out to me is the to the similarities to the first chapter. Chapter 1 ends with Meiko finally quitting her job, contemplating the freedom she’d just given herself while gazing out to the Tokyo skyline. At the time she was directionless, aimlessly wandering without a goal, and to her the city skyline was a thing of utmost beauty. Now, as she’s matured, she still appreciates the scenery but also has something beyond that to comfort her. She’s built a life that she’s proud of and has friends that genuinely care about her. As long as she has that foundation and love in her heart, she knows she’ll be okay.
Chapter 29
Despite the manga technically ending last chapter, we’re given an extra little epilogue to help wrap up the loose ends, which cannot express how much I appreciate. I’ve decided to dedicate this section of my analysis for this chapter alone to indicate that this is an extended ending, happening after the events of the manga’s original ending.
We return to find Meiko now living with a new boyfriend, which we quickly learn is the younger guitar teacher, Yuki, that had tried to ask her on a date earlier. It seems he’s finally worn Meiko down and was able to get that date after all. We’re shown that he likes to spend his money, specifically by ordering all sorts of random items online to their shared apartment. Meiko passively comments about his obnoxious spending before leaving to meet Ai for lunch. The ladies meet and start the normal gossip about life and love. Meiko mentions moving again since Yuki is taking a new job, but Meiko is hesitant. She’s thinking of quitting her job again.
While this immediately calls for some apprehension, Meiko claims she has a lot on her mind right now and doesn’t mind having Yuki support her for a while. It’s nearly impossible to trust her, especially given the past 28 chapters we’ve endured, but at the same time Meiko seems different. She’s calmer, more in control of her life and seemingly has a plan this time. The girls then discuss their aloof friend Billy, whos still yet to mature and is still chasing college-age girls. Distracted by the conversation, Meiko subconsciously starts to step out into a busy intersection, only to be stopped at the last moment by Ai, who catches her shoulder mid-stride.
Here I believe we’re given a final reference to Taneda’s accident. Meiko could have easily been another tragic loss in this story at this moment. However, through the growth she’s experienced over the story, she’s built up strength through the connections to her friends and her new life. Essentially, she’s been saved through the support of the people closest to her. She’s built a safety net through the connections she’s now built, and now has more support than she’s ever had before. This moment helps emphasize the importance of the journey she’s taken, now letting others help her instead of dumping her problems on her boyfriend.
We return to Meiko commenting that things seem to be working out for everyone, almost like a dream. She then reveals she’s pregnant with Yuki’s child. She voices her fear that the baby will be a problem child and worries about her relationship with Yuki. Yet, it only takes a second for her to shake that doubt. She collects herself, loudly exclaiming that she’s sure everything will work out. Ai then asks if she finally got rid of her demons. Meiko jokingly replies, saying she’s just matured. While it’s not entirely convincing, it does seem that this current Meiko has a much better attitude on life than ever before. Even her friends notice how happy she’s finally become.
We then cut to Meiko standing in the crowd at a rock show, cheering on her old bandmates and their newest member, Yuki. She waves at the guys as they gear up to start their last song of the set. Unbeknownst to Yuki, Billy and Katou sneakily signal to each other what they want to play. Then, as if rehearsed, they begin to play our titular song, Solanin, with a fire and passion that I can only assume is their own tribute to their former lead guitar and singer. Yuki doesn’t know the words and is completely caught off guard by this, left standing dumbfounded on stage undoubtedly surprised by this random outburst from his new band mates. We see Meiko in the crowd, smiling from ear to ear at her friends’ wholesome gesture to her and Taneda.
This tribute triggers a memory for Meiko, as she remembers the words she thought to herself so long ago – “There’s a demon lurking in Tokyo”. She comments that, without any weapons, she tried to fight an invisible demon. What exactly was she trying to fight anyways?
Through all of her turmoil and struggle, she finally realizes she has something worth protecting. We then see a text message from Yuki, which contains a picture of an engagement ring that had just arrived at their apartment. Meiko says to herself she’s more cut out to be protecting people than to be fighting demons anyways. She smiles at her phone, knowing she’s finally conquered the invisible demon.
As the chapter comes to a close, we’re left with one final quote read by Meiko, who’s now watching the scenery pass on the train.
“In this dreamlike, yet mundane everyday life, every now and again, that melody finds its way back to me. If I had done something else back then… if I could go back in time… but I can’t become the boy I was then. Yup, I can’t return anymore. I’ve walked this far, after all. Now, I have to keep moving forward no matter how steep the road may be, as it keeps going to the very end of the world.”
As I’m sure Inio Asano had planned, this last quote perfectly encapsulates the message of the manga as a whole. This is a true coming of age story where we see the pressures of adult life weigh down on our young couple as they navigate the challenging waters of a career oriented existence. This quote seems to reference the calling to a former life or perhaps even a way of living that they no longer return to. It carries with it a somber tone of regret for lost time, for things that they didn’t finish or accomplish when they had the chance. It’s an ode to the passing of time and the desire to go back to the way things were, but also a reminder that those times are now long gone, only to remain a fading memory. As much as our characters would love to go back to the fun college days of jamming out with the band, endless nights of partying, and none of the pressures life has awaiting, instead they’re lamenting the reality that this time in their life has passed and there’s no going back. The only road now is forward, whether they like it or not.
I really enjoyed that Inio Asano left all of these final details in this last chapter to piece together most of the loose ends here as the story concludes. At first, I was certain Meiko was headed for catastrophe again after mentioning she was planning to quit, but then this wouldn’t be much of a coming of age story, would it? Instead, Meiko has learned from her past mistakes. Even if she’s still not happy working, she has purpose now. She has a man she loves, friends that make her life endlessly enjoyable, and even has a beautiful child on the way. Life couldn’t be better for Meiko. She’s finally come to terms with her adult life. She has an incredible support network and this time around, with them and her new experience in life guiding her, she’s ready to handle anything.
Final Thoughts
There’s still so much more I want to say on this that I haven’t been able to flesh out yet, so I feel a conclusion/discussion section is necessary.
While there isn’t only one message to garner from these pages, it’s evident that overcoming overwhelming struggle is one of the strongest. Life carries on no matter how hard we try to make it stop. Growing older and losing touch with loved ones is inevitable. The complications of life and love will always exist. This manga reiterates that the only way forward is to keep moving and growing. Although it won’t fix everything, it gets a lot easier lot if you can find something you truly care about along the way. And that’s what Meiko is proving to us through her journey. Her love of her friends and the passion she’s able to share with the band and Taneda’s memory through music are what provide her the strength and foundation to keep moving forward. It’s through that passion that she’s able to come to terms with her own hopelessness. Now surrounded by loving faces and endless possibilities, it’s much easier for her to continue onward.
Then we have Taneda. Taneda’s story is incredibly interesting to me. I found myself relating to him on a surprisingly intimate level between his aimless passions, his love for music and his inability to decide on a path forward in life. He’s a seemingly well put together dude that just hasn’t put in the effort to make his life the way he wants it. He reminds me of when I had just ended my college journey and aimlessly entered the working world, not really pursuing anything just yet because I hadn’t really set a goal. So when we see him die in that tragic accident, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread thinking of myself in the same situation. What would happen to me if I were to die tomorrow? Would there be anyone who can carry something of mine on to do what Meiko had done for Taneda’s band? Have I accomplished what I want to in my life yet? How would the people in my life react? I don’t have those answers and I’m not sure I really need to know those things anyways, but that’s the kind of thing Solanin makes you wonder. To me, it’s not so much about the story itself, but how it makes you feel.
To further help illustrate my point here, I’d like to bring up another favorite of mine, the book Looking for Alaska by John Green. I was obsessed with this book back in high school and have probably read it at least 10 times now, if not more. There’s some striking similarities between the two stories, each revolving around a young couple just starting to find their purpose and passions in life. The characters have many of the same worries, same fears of growing up, and feelings of insecurity when it comes to relationships and love. This all comes to a head in LFA when Alaska, the girl main character, is subject to a tragic car accident which in many ways acts as a parallel to Taneda’s accident. Through their grief in the aftermath, the students band together to help the main guy character, Pudge, build himself back up, done through Alaska’s lingering passion for pranks. It’s another story of personal growth through loss that hits many of the same emotional buttons Solanin does.
Yet, after all of these times reading LFA, I’ve never once been left with the same feeling of renewed life and redemption that Solanin leaves. Despite the growth that happens over the course of the story, you aren’t left feeling that Pudge has truly found himself or has really moved past his relationship with Alaska. You aren’t left with a subtle hint of optimism looking forward at the mundane future. You aren’t left knowing that through the intense pain of loss so many more beautiful horizons await you. LFA fails to address this in so many ways, often leaving me with a sense of emptiness when closing the pages.
Solanin finds a way to beautifully answer all of this. Watching Meiko smile while riding the train in the last chapter, knowing her new life awaits her, leaves you with a genuine feeling of pure bliss and gratefulness for her renewed sense of life. Seeing Meiko stare at a picture of her new engagement ring shows how even through the loss of Taneda she’s still able to find love and happiness. Solanin leaves you feeling like you’ve experienced each and every moment with the characters, and by the end has you soaking in the same feelings of warmth and optimism that the friends share in our final moments. It’s a journey that sucks you in to every single incredibly drawn panel, making you feel like you’re not just reading a manga, but actually living in it with them. And that’s exactly why Solanin is so beautiful.
It’s absolutely insane to think that this relatively short, 29 chapter manga series from 2005 has had me feeling so much that I found it necessary to type out the equivalent of roughly 17 pages, single spaced, of an analysis. Yet, at the same time it almost feels unjust to only have this much to say about a manga that has so much to offer. There’s so much more I could say about the story design itself through the incredible artwork and layout of each individual panel, or by going into detail about the arguably noteworthy side stories of our support characters, but I honestly don’t think that’s really necessary at this point. I suppose I should leave SOMETHING for you to discover if you haven’t yet read this series. And who knows, maybe you’ll see something I didn’t notice. I think that’s part of the beauty of this manga; that there’s so much to discover in so few pages, and to each person that can mean something entirely different. So if you haven’t yet, check it out. You might just find something worthwhile.